To All Of My Seed,
This is Adam, the Patriarch. I am your father, the father of all mankind. My seed has givin life to you through Eve. Her woom carried you like a satchle of destiny. Divine inter-vention brought us together on Thursday, December 12, 2012 when all the world’s population vanished, except for my queen and I. I had prophecied this destiny for many moons in my visions where I saw the Goddess Eve spread eagle on a bed of palms, awaiting to birth the world’s children. We immediately began to repopulate. I took Eve into my arms and I furtilized her again and again. An oracle named Darwin predicated our survival and evilution, and thus yours, ensuring the survival of all humanskind. I trust my strength and wisdom will been passed on to you, the way it had been passed on to your ancestors when last I appeared on earth, and gave rise to all of you.
Fair well my children,
Adam the Father of Father’s
To Whoever might read this,
I’m starting to believe that I’m the last woman on earth. My name is Eva. I was a concierge at the Radisson in Pasadena on a Thursday, December 15, 2312 when it happened. I was working with Adam, the intolerable hotel porter on summer break from studying computer gaming. Myself and Adam were helping Mr. Takashi, a frequent guest, up to his suite on the fourteenth floor. Halfway in between the twelfth and fourteenth floors Mr. Takashi just up and disappeared. I stood there unable to move for a moment, basically paralyzed, afraid if I even flinched that I might disappear too. Finally I worked up the courage to scan my eyes, still afraid to move my head an inch. I felt Adam doing the same. Mr. Takashi’s shirt, tie, belt, watch, underwear, and pants lay on the floor of the elevator, a smoldering pile of ash, his toupee setting gently on top.
When the doors opened again at fourteen, after what seemed like hours, Adam and I kind of just looked at each other, completely bewildered. Nobody said a word. What do you do when someone vanishes in front of your eyes? Well, we looked in the elevator, but there weren’t many hiding spots. I even was about to shout inside, “Mr. Takashi!”, but by the time I got to the “s” in mister Adam was glaring at me and I was already whispering, realizing the foolishness of my call. Outside the elevator, everything seemed normal enough at first glance. We walked by the elevator and took the stairs down to the lobby to further investigate and were surprised to find it completely deserted. The only traces of other people we could find were similar smoldering piles of ash all around.
It’s been three days since then and we have yet to see another person. It’s the same thing no matter where we go and I’ve lost all hope that the story is different anywhere.. I guess there are worse places I could’ve been than Pasadena when all of humanity disappeared; though I’m cursing my parents for naming me Eva, close enough to Eve for Adam to satisfy his agenda. Adam won’t shut up about repopulating the earth. He’s been ranting about our duty and destiny, and some ridiculous vision that he claims to have had. I don’t know much about destiny, but I know mine is not to carry the child of a 17 year old in order to repopulate the world.
Plus, he hasn’t bathed since Thursday and he thinks it’s okay to fart everywhere just because there’s no one else around. I can’t get any privacy anymore. He insists on watching me bathe and calls himself, “The Father of Humanity” and “The Father of Father’s”. I asked him if he’s ever heard the words, “if you were the last man on earth…” But nothing stops him from touching himself in front of me constantly, as if I might become inspired to “spread his seed”, as he likes to say. I just want someone to talk to, but all Adam thinks about is sex. This is who God chose to represent the LAST MAN ON EARTH!? Maybe it’s just karma come back to slap me in the face for all the great guys who listened and respected me that I dumped in favor of the bad boys who took me for granted and tore me down for a few sexcapades. Anyone, really anyone but Adam would suffice.
Whatever this is, whatever it means, I’ve been clinging to the hope that I will wake up one day and it will all be a bad dream. That hope is fading with each sunrise. I’ve only ever been to church a handful of times, and now suddenly I’m supposed to be Eve, the mother of all of humanity? Nobody prepared me for that kind of responsibility. Well how could they? And why couldn’t I have the hot, ripped Adam with the six pack from the story? I don’t think I’m ready to be a mother, especially not THE mother. I just hope the world’s tequila hasn’t disappeared yet.
-Eva
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